29 January 2012
Today was a bad day. It wasn’t that anything bad happened. I was just in a rotten mood all day.
I suppose it was a lot of things. Didn’t sleep well. Made stupid mistakes at work yesterday. Down to $5 in my back account until pay day. Down to my last five minutes on my pay-as-you-go phone, too.
My friends are trying to pull together a weekend trip for my birthday but without much planning. At this point - and I feel mean and ungrateful for saying this - I’d rather just stay home or take a trip by myself so I wouldn’t feel so bad about them spending their money.
It’s days like these I wish I could just disappear.
And then, most irrational of all, somebody attributed a quote from the movie Hook to J.M. Barrie, and it nearly brought me to tears. It made me so mad!
I read somewhere that bananas may help with moodiness.
Let’s do some inventory, shall we? I’ll be 25 on Thursday. I am twiddling my thumbs instead of looking for chances to LIVE IN EUROPE. I am living with my parents and letting my bank account dwindle to $5. I have had one boyfriend, two sort-of boyfriends, and one stage kiss.
But I am a college graduate, have had a short story printed, a book of flash fiction self-published, and I have not been hungover or arrested or pregnant-out-of-wedlock.
In five years, I would like to have lived in Europe, to be married, to have completed a novel, and maybe to have a child.
Scratch “married” and make that “in a relationship.”
Bedtime now. Work in the morning.